Lightning
by Silver Laced Rae
Summary: Confronted by the alpha, Scott is a little overwhelmed by all that's happened. One-shot.


_A/N: My chicken died and this happened. My suggestion is to read it slow since it's a little disjointed.  
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It's times like these I know that I'm not my own person. Or at least, not anymore. There are chills running up my spine and down my limbs, this freezingly-hot shock coursing throughout my whole body that I can't possibly begin to describe. Thinking on more things I can't do, I can't move my arm or twitch my toe. Can't even manage a shaky breath. I can't do anything. All because of his words. His simple projections of air that have wiped my control away and affected me so physically as to stand here, trembling, awaiting whatever he might say next.

There was a time when I would never have let this happen. There was a time when no one's words could control me like they do now. Hell, half the time they couldn't even penetrate the top layer of my thick skin. But now? Now my skin is translucent… Everyone seems to know just where to hit and the arrow glides right through, striking true each time. My eyes don't water. No lump forms in my throat. I don't get to experience any of the normal reactions to pain or grief. Instead, I freeze. But the way it happens… It's like this cold dread settles in my stomach, sending poison out through my veins until I'm frozen by this shocking fire. The cold-but not really cold, more solid than cold- dread, usually it thaws until it melts away. But not now.

"Scott," He breathes.

Not when it's the alpha who put it there.

I never feel this way around Allison. Even when she's –both literally and figuratively- aiming her bow my way. With Allison, it's more like I've been hit by lightning. Everything is so amplified and exaggerated. I'm in more control than ever before, but at the same time, the wolf is eager to jump out. There's just too much energy and I almost feel like a puppy, all clumsiness and smiling eyes. These loopy grins overwrite my features, whether I want them there or not.

And then, when I've betrayed her trust somehow, when she looks at me with that injured gaze… Even then I don't feel this way. There's more fear when she's the one who could hurt me. This fear, well, it's bad. But it's not pure lightning jumping from your toes to your scalp. Everything with Allison is lightning and electricity.

"Oh Scott." The alpha murmurs, almost pitying.

I really have no choice in the matter. I didn't that night in the school.

Until I heard Allison.

"It doesn't have to be this way. You don't have to endanger your friends and family."

Always for Allison.

Or Stiles. I have to admit, I'm kind of fond of him, too. With the exception of those times I tried to kill him, I really don't think I could _hurt _him… I'd always choose to protect him, right? We're best friends. The wolf and I are one and the same, even if we're completely different at times. I don't control the wolf, I am the wolf. The wolf and I influence one another because the wolf is just an exaggerated part of my personality. The aggression, the anger, the pure _rage _that previously had nowhere to go… It morphed into the wolf through the bite. It's still me, just a new part of me. I do have control.

"All you have to do is join us. We're stronger as a pack." His insistence draws me back to the present situation, and my gaze settles on the alpha. He wants to be _my _alpha.

Maybe I don't have control. In fact, right now I know I don't. He has it.

He could make me kill them all.

I'm not my own person. At all.

"I'm not free," I murmur to myself, petrified resignation settling through me. The dread is still there, but I'm afraid that it's converting into something more sinister. Rage.

Rage feeds the wolf. The alpha controls the wolf.

My fear feeds the alpha.

"I'll never be free…"

"Don't be so dramatic, Scott," The alpha rolled his eyes, grumbling, "I'll never understand all the high school theatrics."

My eyes lower, and the dread builds until it's something new. Terror, resignation, perhaps even some anxiety at the lack of direction I had without the alpha. They all swirled in my blood, overwhelming my senses. Something about being a wolf they don't tell you, you're going to overload a lot. Most assume you get used to it after a while, but you don't. Sometimes you manage it a little better. When you're scared? Management has left the building, best of luck with that explosion!

"But you're right." The alpha smiles, a crooked little smirk that sends new shivers down my back. I can't fight him at all. "You're mine, you're my beta. All you have to do is accept I'm your alpha. Then we'll be a pack, a family. The only question is how long you'll fight me. Eventually you will give in, Scott." There really was never any choice.

"You won't hurt them?" My voice is quiet, questioning. I barely recognize this voice. I haven't heard it since I was little and mom had grounded me, or was mad at me. When I felt like shit and would do anything to feel better.

"No."

"You won't make me hurt them? You'll let me protect them?" The alpha blinked, his gaze narrowing.

"Hm." The alpha hummed appreciatively. "Are you finally acquiescing?"

"If my friends… my mom… if they won't be hurt," I stuttered out, cursing my lack of control. But that's not my fault, right? The alpha stole it from me.

"You protect your pack," He growled, "and they're not your pack. I can't let you protect them." I let out a little strangled sound. Allison had her family. Her family could protect her. Jackson and Lydia, well, we weren't really that close. They weren't in deep enough to cause any trouble anyway. Actually Jackson was, but I can't think about that when a new thought pops into my head: _Stiles. _Pack or no, I can't leave Stiles unprotected. He has no one.

We always had each other. If Allison was my lightning, Stiles was my air. He held me solid and steady when the world was falling to pieces. When I'm surrounded by thunder and rain and earthquakes, there's _Stiles. _He's a whole different sensation, but so much more necessary. I just… I'm not me without Stiles. We're a package deal. Always have been.

"Stiles. Just him, please. Let me keep him safe." My voice wavered at the end, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "I'll do anything you want, just please… Stiles." Out of nowhere, Allison's demands I be more articulate popped into my head. There's no eloquence to my words now. There's barely even coherence.

The alpha hummed slightly again, moving closer. "You already do whatever I want."

There was a lull for a moment. "I-Please."

Scratch that. There's no coherence. I'm worse than Stiles off the ADD drugs.

But begging was all I had. To be honest, all dignity flew out the window when the alpha hunted me down like an animal and sunk his teeth into my side.

"Fine. Maybe he'll come in handy," The alpha said suddenly. I let out a shuddering breath, thanking him with every fiber of my being. I could at least protect Stiles.

Not that I'd done a good job of protecting anyone previously.

But if I was part of a pack, maybe I could guilt the pack into helping? Good plan. I'll have to think on that later once I know something, anything, about packs.

The alpha placed a hand on my shoulder. "You're going to be so happy once you're fully integrated into the pack structure, I'm sure. You'll understand then. I didn't choose you just because you were in the woods that night, Scott." Seriously, he was going down that route? Out of all the cards, he decides to play the 'fate made me choose you' card?

I'm not letting him get away with that. "Yes you did. I was an easy target." Did I just snort? My god, I snorted. The haze of fear and wolf-feeding emotions seemed to be lifting. Did that mean I would be loose of the alpha's control?

"Okay, so I did." The alpha shrugged. "But I'm very happy with who you turned out to be. You have far more ingenuity than the other children. You'll be a productive member of the pack." I'm positive Derek would disagree.

Actually, I'm sure anyone would disagree, myself included. I tried to pull away from the alpha's hand, which remained glued to my shoulder, warm and heavy. A chastising glare nailed me to my spot.

That's a negative, ghost-rider, on the control.

"Will I have to kill someone?" The thought came out of nowhere, and I vocalized it before I even knew the repercussions of what I was thinking. The alpha only smiled and my stomach dropped.

"You look like such a kicked puppy. Don't worry, Scott. I won't ask that of you yet."

If I didn't have to kill someone to join the pack (like Derek had insisted I would, I might add. Maybe he wasn't as all knowing as he thought?)– I couldn't think about what the 'yet' part of his statement implied right now-, what did I have to do?

"Alpha-" I began formally.

"Peter," He interrupted.

"If you're not going to make me kill someone, then what do I have to do to join the pack?" I asked, voice wavering lightly. Peter smirked again, and a shudder ran down my spine.

What had I agreed to?

_A/N: There really was no reasoning behind this. I welcome any and all critiques, although please keep in mind that this story has no plot. This is the first fic I've written that I've ever actually let anyone read... It's also one of the rare times I wrote in first person. That never happens. _

_Edited to fix a serious spelling error. Wrote this late at night under the influence of pain medication. *Sigh* Thanks for pointing it out, LadySilver!  
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